


Sunset I: Sorrows

by BradyGirl_12



Series: Sunset [1]
Category: due South
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Drama, Established Relationship, M/M, Male Slash, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-05-22
Updated: 1999-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-10 10:13:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11125029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BradyGirl_12/pseuds/BradyGirl_12
Summary: Shattered, as the flames grow bright.  Originally posted 4/19/98.





	1. Melting

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. IOriginal pseudonym: Gilda Lily.
> 
>                
> I read with great interest the fannish theory that Benny's  
>                
> mental health is showing signs of deteriorating in 3rd  
>                
> season.  I've felt that way myself, and this story has  
>                
> been simmering in my mind since 3rd season began.  This  
>                
> is a sad one, folks, but then, sometimes I'm just sad  
>                
> when watching Seasons 3/4.  :(  
>            **  
> **  
>  Rated NC-17 for a graphic m/m sex scene.  
>                
> Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, more's the  
>                
> pity, Alliance does.  
>                
> (c) March 20, 1998 (Ostara)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benny is trapped in a nightmare world.

Ben awoke, smiling to himself.  The  
warm body next to him made him  
feel tingly all over.  He stretched lazily and turned over,  
eyes till  
closed, his hand reaching out to caress the skin of his beloved.   
A soft  
purr let him know that his lover was enjoying his attentions.   
He  
remembered last night: his lover deep inside him, hot and demanding,  
his legs spread as his beloved touched his cock, pumping it while  
his  
hips moved, and semen spilled out to spatter on his chest and  
belly  
while Ray's scalded his insides...

     A frown marred his perfect features as he continued caressing.  He  
couldn't recall Ray being so...bony...? 

     Eyes snapped open and he sat up as if shot from a cannon.  All that  
missing was him modestly pulling the sheet up his chest, he thought with  
a touch of hysteria.  His face reflected his shock. 

     "Mmm, lover, you were the *best* last night." 

     His lover turned over and smiled at him.  Except that this man was  
not his lover. 

     "Who...who *are* you?" 

     The man frowned, his smile a little uncertain. "C'mon, babe, it's  
too early for your weird sense of Canadian humor." 

     "Who *are* you?" Ben repeated harshly.  His fist balled while  
clutching the sheet. 

     "I'm Ray." 

     "No, you're not," Ben ground out.  His heart was racing and he  
could feel cold sweat running down his back. 

     "'Course I am!" 

     "You're not Ray Vecchio!" 

     "No, but I play him on TV.  C'mon, Fraser, what's up with this  
act?" 

     Ben leaped out of bed, limbs trembling with anger and fear. "Get  
out of my bed!" 

     "What?" 

     "Are you dim or something?  I *said*, get out of my bed!" 

     The stranger seemed too astonished to do anything.  Ben felt dizzy  
and rapidly spilled out the next words. "Where's my Ray?" 

     "Right here." 

     How could this man be so *stupid*! "I *mean* Ray Vecchio!" 

     "Listen, love..." 

     "Don't call me that!" 

     Ben heard a whine and turned with relief to Dief.  Maybe he could  
order the wolf to nosh on the intruder.  He felt his blood run cold. 

     "Dief..." 

     He slowly knelt down in front of the wolf and grasped his muzzle.  
Panic began to whisper along the edges of his mind as he gazed into the  
big eyes. 

    "You're not Dief," he said with a whimper, dropping his hand away  
and lowering his head. 

    "Fraser..." 

    His head snapped back up to see the imposter staring over the edge  
of the cot.  He scrambled up and ran to his closet, slamming the door  
shut behind him. 

    Closet.  Right.  How many times had he and Ray been in the broom  
closet at the Precinct?  He had to get out of here and over to the  
Precinct!  Ray would be there, and he would come back with him and help  
toss this impertinent stranger out. 

    A banging on the door startled him. 

    "Fraser!  Come on out here!" 

    He flung the door open, nearly beaning the imposter.  Enjoying a  
perverse sense of satisfaction, Ben barreled past him in his red serge  
and out the apartment, ignoring the man's calls and the wolf's barking. 

    He ran all the way to the 27th Precinct, heart pounding all the  
way.  He pushed the fear to the back of his mind.  Ray was all right.  
Ray was fine.  He would find him at his desk and they would deal with  
this poor, sick soul in his apartment.  In his *bed*. 

    Ben shuddered.  He hoped that nothing had...happened. 

    Ignoring the strange looks thrown his way, he stepped up his pace.  
He breathed a sigh of relief when he reached the Precinct and barged up  
the stairs, tossing off a quick, "Pardon me" to a woman he almost bowled  
over. 

     He reached the squadroom and took a moment to compose himself,  
chest heaving.  All he had to do was open the door, and he would see  
Ray.  It would all be fine. 

     He opened the door, his eyes immediately going to Ray's desk.  
Disappointment washed over him.  Empty.  Well, that was fine.  Ray was  
just away from his desk.  He would sit in his chair before the desk and  
wait.  He could do that.  Ray would come and everything would be all  
right. 

     He walked across the room a little unsteadily, clutching his hat  
with a painful grip.  He passed Elaine's desk and said automatically,  
"Good morning, El..." He stopped, expression shocked. 

     "Hi, Benton." 

     Francesca Vecchio sat at Elaine's desk, wearing a civilian aide  
uniform.  Well, it *resembled* a civilian aide's uniform.  The sleeves  
had been shortened and the neckline lowered.  Frannie was working at the  
computer. 

     "Uh, Francesca, what are you doing in Elaine's seat?" 

     "Silly, it's *my* seat now." 

     "What?" asked Ben faintly. 

     "Yeah.  I'm the one you and Ray come to for information." 

     Suddenly heartened, Ben stepped closer. "Yes, *Ray* and I.  Do you  
know where he is?" 

     "Who am I, my brother's keeper?" She sighed. "He should be in any  
time now." 

     Ben nodded in satisfaction.  "Thank you kindly, Francesca." He went  
over to Ray's desk and sat down in the chair before it.  He took a  
deep breath, eyes closed.  This was where he belonged. 

    "Hey, Fraser!" 

    He opened his eyes.  Oh, no!  That crazy man had followed him to  
the Precinct! 

    The spiky-haired blond slouched over to the desk, dressed in grungy  
jeans and a T-shirt that read MEGADEATH.  *His* Ray would not have been  
caught dead in such an outfit, at least not while on duty. 

     "Glad to see ya got over your little hissy fit, babe." The stranger  
had the audacity to slide into Ray's seat!  Ben felt a great anger begin  
to surge inside him.  Before he could say anything, though, Francesca  
waltzed over and put a file on the desk. "Here ya go, Ray." 

     "Thanks, Frannie." 

     *No!* 

     "Francesca, this man is claiming to be Ray!" 

     "Well, that's because he is." 

     Shock poured out from blue eyes. "Francesca, that is *not* your  
brother!" 

     "My brother?" 

     "Yes, your brother!  The man with the dazzling smile, incredible  
green eyes, and wears Armani!" 

     Frannie looked at Ben askance.  He could feel sweat begin to  
trickle down his collar.  He shot out of the chair and said, "I'll prove  
it to you all!" 

     He ran all the way to the Vecchio house, gasping for breath by the  
time he reached the house...but the house was a charred ruin, his heart  
nearly beating out of his chest.  He stared at it for a very long time,  
the panic building, and he took off at a run again. 

     *The Consulate!  There I'll have the resources to track Ray down  
and figure out why all the Americans have gone bonkers!* 

     He skidded to a halt outside the Consulate building, its cool  
whiteness pristine in the early-morning sun.  Yet there was no Mountie  
on guard, and the official brass plaque had been removed and replaced  
with a sign that read: VANDALAY INDUSTRIES.  He barged in, the usual  
niceties forgotten as the blood rushed in his ears. 

     "Can I help you, sir?" 

     "Jasmine!" He almost sobbed her name and grabbed her.  Ignoring her  
squeal, he said, "I must see Inspector Thatcher!" 

     "Then you'd better go to the Consulate." 

     "This *is* the Consulate." 

     She looked at him strangely. "No, it's at 602 Roosevelt Avenue." 

     He nearly snapped at her, "No, it isn't!" but decided not to argue.  
He ran out, looking wildly about him, then took off in a direction he  
was certain would bring him to Roosevelt Avenue.  He had been there once  
with Ray. 

     Ray.  Why were these people *doing* this to them?  Why wouldn't  
they let him see Ray?  Was their disapproval so strong that they  
couldn't stand to see them together?  Why did he feel like he was in a  
TWILIGHT ZONE episode, an old classic television series that Ray had  
introduced him to years ago? 

     Everything seemed to revolve around Ray.  Dear Ray.  He yearned to  
see his face, gaze deeply into those leaf-green eyes and close his arms  
around that slender, elegant body.  He desperately wanted to make love  
to his partner, feel his strength and passion, and celebrate their love.  
Oh, dear Ray. 

     Flushed with passionate thoughts and from the run, Benny stopped  
outside the dark, old-fashioned structure that now bore the legend,  
CANADIAN CONSULATE.  He dashed inside past Turnbull who was on guard  
duty.  Thank heavens for Turnbull!  Doing what he always did.  Benny  
needed some continuity right now. 

     He hesitated in the grand foyer, uncertain of this building's  
layout, then took a guess and headed for what appeared to be Inspector  
Thatcher's office.  He burst in, forgetting all about politeness in his  
desperation. 

     "Inspector, I need your help...!"  He stopped short, the old  
familiar feeling of disbelief hitting him.  Meg Thatcher was staring at  
him. 

     "What is it, Constable?" 

     "When...when did you get your hair cut?" 

     She rolled her eyes. "I'm busy, Constable.  Now if you don't have  
anything constructive to say, kindly leave and shut the door on your way  
out..." 

     He dashed around her desk and grabbed her by the shoulders, her  
grunt of surprised pain ignored by him. "You must help me, Inspector!  
Ray's missing and no one seems to care!" 

     She smirked. "Why should that surprise you?" 

     He shook his head impatiently. "No, I mean, what I mean is  
that...Inspector, everyone acts like he never existed!  I *have* to find  
him!  Please, you must help me!" 

     "Fraser, you must calm down.  Vecchio is probably just out of town  
for a few days, or on some assignment.  I'm sure your lover boy will  
come back to you." She said the words 'lover boy' with obvious disgust. 

     "No!" Benny snatched his hands away and felt his panic rising. "I  
must find him!" 

     He ran out of her office, ignoring her calls for him to come back,  
and was out in the street before he saw Jack Huey's car pull up.  
Relieved, he stood there trembling.  Jack would help him.  Jack  
understood about partners.  He frowned at the dark-haired man who was  
also stepping out of the car. 

     "Jack, you must help me!" 

     "Sure, Benton," Jack said reasonably.  He and the stranger slowly  
advanced. "I'll be glad to help." 

     "Thank God!" Benny sobbed.  He grabbed Jack's arms. "Jack, Ray's  
gone and some imposter has taken his place!  Dief's not Dief, and the  
Inspector had a new haircut!  This Consulate isn't the Consulate!  
Please help me find Ray!  I *need* Ray!" 

      "Sure, Benton." Jack lightly squeezed Benny's arms. "Come with us,  
and we'll find Ray." 

      "Who's this?" Benny asked warily, staring at the new man. 

      "He's my partner, Tom Dewey." 

      "Partner?  Oh, no, your partner is Louis." A look of horror  
crossed his face. "Louis was killed...in the Riv...burned...!" He began  
to moan and slid out of the men's grasp, the world whirling around as  
from somewhere, deep inside, a scream began to rise up from a black  
abyss as fire exploded behind his eyes and the world melted... 


	2. Flames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benny's sad story is told.

     The young, dark-haired man studied his clipboard and looked up at  
the approach of the two officers.  They were a handsome couple, he  
thought, and he shook their hands. 

     "Please be seated," he said to Jack and Elaine.  Tom was off-duty  
and Elaine had come to the hospital when Jack had called her. 

      They sat on a leather settee, the hall bright and cheerful.  
Certainly not what you would expect of this kind of hospital.  Elaine  
asked, "Is he all right, Doctor?" 

      Dr. Julius Birnbaum shook his head. "He's heavily sedated, Ms.  
Besbriss.  He's really quite clever, getting out as he does.  
Unfortunately, unless we keep him doped up to the gills, he'll always  
manage to do so.  And we can't keep him restrained forever, either." 

     "He's not a danger to anyone," Elaine said softly. 

     "No, just to himself." 

     She and Jack exchanged glances. "Doctor, I know you're new to  
Benton's case, but are you aware of all the details of what happened?"  
She took a deep breath. "He's never been the same since his partner was  
killed by that car bomb.  Ray's beloved Riv went up in flames, and him  
with it.  Dief went, too." 

      Birnbaum frowned. "Dief?" 

      "His wolf," Jack supplied. 

      Raising an eyebrow, the doctor indicated to Elaine that she should  
continue. 

      "Well, he's never forgiven himself for Ray's death.  He was  
helping an old woman he knew cross the street when Ray and Dief got into  
the car and when Ray turned the key in the ignition..." She shuddered  
and quickly took hold of Jack's hand.  She understood why he was being  
so quiet.  The memories were being dredged up again.  He was seeing  
another Riv, another flash of flames, a partner lost. 

      Birnbaum frowned. "Why would he feel guilty about that?" 

      Elaine smiled slightly. "You didn't know Fraser before his  
breakdown.  He was always helping people and Ray would grumble about it,  
but he'd help, too.  And one of the cases Fraser dragged Ray into ended  
up connected to the Mob, and Fraser was targeted by them for execution.  
Unfortunately, it was Ray and Dief who paid." 

     The sadness in her voice could have broken a hundred hearts.  She  
wiped at her eyes and continued. 

     "Anyway, Fraser screamed and started running toward the car, and  
Jack and the Lieutenaut caught him and held him back.  He fought them  
like a wildcat but then just slid out of their grasp and fell to the  
ground." Elaine's voice was strong but tear-filled. "He  
started...hugging himself and keening this...*awful* wail...and he was  
in shock for the next few days.  When he came out of it, he insisted on  
going over to Ray's family's house and helping them with the funeral  
arrangements.  He as there, helping poor Mrs. Vecchio and Ray's sisters,  
and he made arrangements for Dief to be buried up in the Territories,  
too." 

     The doctor consulted his chart. "He seemed normal after that?" 

     "Well, as normal as Fraser can be." She and Jack laughed gently.  
"Anyway, he refused a transfer and helped crack the case of who was  
responsible.  He seemed to control any desire for revenge he might have.  
 And then he didn't come around the Precinct much anymore  
after that, though he was still coming in the capacity as a liaison  
between our department and his Consulate, but no longer as Ray Vecchio's  
unofficial partner." 

      "He seemed all right, and even would occasionally accept Mrs.  
Vecchio's dinner invitations, but he gradually stopped going there, and  
stopped going anywhere, I'd heard.  He began to lose weight, looked  
awful from loss of sleep, and then he began to haunt the Precinct,  
while not neglecting his duties at the Consulate but his boss definitely  
didn't like it.  And he began sitting in his chair in front of Ray's  
desk..." 

      Here Jack joined in. "The desk still hadn't been assigned to  
anyone.  He came in every day at lunchtime and every day after work, and  
just sat there until one of us would suggest he go home." 

      "And he looked so confused...so lost...it always broke my heart,"  
Elaine said. 

     "Did he ever say why he was doing this?" asked Birnbaum.  
   
     Jack and Elaine exchanged glances.  She answered, "He was waiting  
for Ray." 

     The doctor's eyebrow rose and he wrote something on the chart.  
Elaine watched him, then exchanged a glance with Jack.  At his nod  
she asked hesitantly, "Doctor?  Has it been noted that Ray was more than  
just a partner in work...that he was one in life as well?" 

     "What?" 

     "Ray and Fraser were lovers." 

     Birnbaum suddenly looked uncomfortable. "Uh, yes." 

     "Does that bother you?" 

     "Yes, it does, Ms. Besbriss." 

     "Should you excuse yourself from this case, then?" 

     The doctor was indignant as he said, "Certainly not.  Constable  
Fraser will get the utmost care from me.  Now, I see here that the  
deterioration continued at a slow yet noticeable rate?" 

     Elaine nodded and Jack said, "He would come in and talk about Ray  
as if he was still alive." 

     As Jack told his examples, Elaine closed her eyes and remembered  
one incident in particular: 

                                

* * * * * *

      *Ben walked in, smiling sunnily as he used to do so long ago, and  
Elaine felt her heart skip a beat.  He was so beautiful!  But what could  
have made him so happy?  His uniform hung on him like a starving man,  
and there were always dark shadows under his eyes from his lack of  
sleep.  His step was lively today, however, and there was that dazzling  
smile. 

      "Good afternoon, Elaine." 

      "Good afternoon, Fraser.  What's up?" 

      He leaned forward conspiratorially. "Ray and I had a wonderful  
time last night." He blushed slightly. "I am very lucky to have an  
Italian lover." 

      Elaine felt her good cheer dissipate as if a bucket of cold water  
had been thrown on her.  She looked at that smiling face and wanted to  
cry. 

      "Uh, Benton?" 

      But he had already taken his customary place in front of Ray's  
desk.  She watched as he sat there patiently, glancing every now and  
then down the length of the squadroom to its entrance, waiting...  
   
     Her heart broke.*  
   
                             

* * * * * *

     The doctor was furiously scribbling on his clipboard.  Jack had  
finished his story and Elaine took up the tale again. 

     "So we decided to contact his boss at the Consulate, wondering if  
they knew about Fraser's delusions over there, but the last straw came."  
She took a deep breath.  Jack took her hand and squeezed it. "It  
happened six months to the day that Ray died..." 

                              

* * * * * *

     *Ben came in the Precinct, looking a little tired but happy.  
Elaine couldn't bear to ask him why, so she simply said nothing.  
Lieutenaut Welsh eyed the Mountie from the doorway of his office and  
watched as he said his customary "Good afternoon" to Elaine and Jack and  
went to sit in front of the desk. 

      He held his hat in his hands and moved it around and around,  
looking up now and again and being disappointed every time.  Welsh began  
to come out of his office when a footstep was heard and someone called  
out, "Hey, Ray!" 

      Elaine gasped as Ben's head immediately came up, light glowing in  
his eyes, only to be replaced by confusion and bitter disappointment.  
Her heart broke and she started to get up and go to him when the blond  
newcomer sauntered over to Ray's desk and sat down.  She instinctively  
held her breath. 

      Ben was looking at the stranger with stupified astonishment.  He  
was a spiky-haired blond wearing a scruffy set of jeans and a  
powder-blue T-shirt.  He was busy going through the top desk drawer when  
he looked up and said, "Oh, hi." He held out his hand. "I'm Ray." 

     Elaine saw the storm crash on the horizon, Ben jumping up and  
nearly leaping over the desk as he grabbed Stanley Raymond Kowalski's  
T-shirt. 

     "You're *not* Ray!" he shouted, dragging the man across the desk  
and shaking him, then he threw him back. 

     "Fraser!" Elaine yelled and Jack came running.  Ben was already on  
the unfortunate Kowalski, rage twisting his handsome face.  Welsh and  
Jack reached him before he could seriously hurt Kowalski and he  
screamed, "Let me *go*!  This man is an imposter!  What have you done  
with Ray!" 

      "Fraser, Ray's dead!" Welsh shouted. 

      Silence.  Deadly and chilling. 

      "No," Ben said, swiftly shaking his head. 

      "Yes," Welsh said, hating to do it but needing to try and get Ben  
to face reality. 

      "No," Ben whispered, and then he shrieked, "*Noooo*!!!" and  
twistedout of Jack and Welsh's grasp, taking off out of the squadroom. 

      "Catch him!" Welsh ordered, and several officers bolted the  
squadroom.  The Lieutenant rubbed his face and swore. 

      A few minutes later Jack returned with a few other cops. "He's  
gone, Lieutenant." 

      "Gave you the slip?" Welsh barked. "All right, put out an APB on  
him.  Elaine, call the Consulate and inform Thatcher about what's  
happened." 

>      "Yes, sir." Elaine made the call and was glad to get a sympathetic Turnbull instead of the Ice Queen.  After the call she  
walked slowly over to Ray's desk.  Kowalski had gone into Welsh's  
office.  She picked up the abandoned Stetson and gently clutched it to  
her heart. 

      "Oh, Benton," she whispered.* 

                                * * * * * * 

      "We finally found him at the Vecchios' old house.  The family was  
away in Florida but Ben still had a key.  He was in Ray's room..." 

                               * * * * * *  
      *The house was eerily quiet.  Elaine and Jack checked the  
downstairs.  Elaine glanced into the living room and drew in a breath as  
she saw the family pictures arranged on a wall...including the wedding  
picture of Ben and Ray.  She traced a finger along the golden frame and  
felt tears blur her vision as she gazed upon their smiling faces.  She  
carefully turned away, Jack indicating the stairs and she nodded.  They  
quietly went up the staircase, Elaine pointing to the room down the  
hall.  Jack nodded and they headed for it. 

      It was Ray's room.  They knew that from the parties they'd  
attended here over the years.  And this was where their sad quest ended. 

      Ben was here, sitting on the bed and rocking back and forth, tears  
streaming down his face as he tightly clutched a pillow to his abdomen.  
The spread was turned down partway and an empty space was at the head of  
the bed next to a second pillow.  The drapes were pulled back, sunlight  
streaming in to highlight the angelic face. 

     Elaine cautiously approached him.  When he didn't acknowledge her  
presence, she sat down next to him and said gently, "Benton, it's time  
to go." 

     He continued rocking, the silent tears breaking her heart.  She put  
a hand on his shoulder, then withdrew it and laid her head there  
instead.  Jack remained silent at the foot of the bed. 

     They stayed that way for a long time, Elaine finally telling Jack,  
"Call the ambulance."  After he left she thought she heard, "He isn't  
coming back, is he?" whispered in her ear.  She turned quickly, but Ben  
was moaning softly now.  Had she imagined him speaking?  She gathered  
him into her arms and sent up a quick prayer to Ray, wherever he was. 

     *Look out for him.* 

                                

* * * * * *

      Elaine wiped her eyes with a handkerchief. "We brought him to City  
Hospital but there was nothing they could do for him, and he was  
admitted here." 

     Birnbaum nodded. "Six months ago." 

    "And today is the first anniversary of Ray's death." 

    The doctor sighed. "We'll keep him under close observation." He  
stood up and shook their hands. "Thank you for telling your story once  
again.  I want to find out all I can about Constable Fraser.  Maybe I  
can help him." 

    "I certainly hope so.  What a waste of a fine man." 

     Birnbaum looked at his chart after the officers had departed.  He  
read, *The patient suffers paranoid delusions, insisting that his dead  
lover is still alive and being held prisoner somewhere.  He thinks here  
is a vast conspiracy keeping him from Ray Vecchio.  Skilled in the art  
of escape, he periodically gets out of the facility but only wanders  
around looking for his lover and wolf.  The outside world overwhelms him  
and he eventually breaks down and is picked up by a police force that is  
familiar with his situation and brings him back here. 

      Here at Briarwood he is totally withdrawn, punctuated by wild  
episodes that must be treated with a tranquilizer and straitjacket.  
Unfortunately he seems to have the knowledge of getting out of the  
straitjacket.  Possibilites of total immobilization are being  
considered.*  
   
     Birnbaum shook his head and went down the hall. 

                           

* * * * * *

     Benton Fraser, formerly of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, sat  
by his hospital room window and stared into space, the figures of Jack  
Huey and Elaine Besbriss slowly getting smaller as they walked toward  
the parking lot.  A discarded straitjacket lay on the floor by the bed. 

     He let the gauzy curtain fall from his hand and obscure his vision  
of the outdoors. 

     "I'll be waiting, Ray." 

     It could have been merely a whisper on the wind as the sun set,  
dissolving into passionately-brilliant flames flickering over the  
marble-perfect face of the man at the window.*  
 


End file.
